Studies show that your words account for only 7% of the message you convey. The remaining 93% is non-verbal. 55% of communication is based on what people see and the other 38% is transmitted through tone of voice. So think about it. In the business setting, people can see what you are not saying. If your body language doesn’t match your words, you are wasting your time.
Through movements, gestures, eye contact and facial expressions, you can read into a person’s truest intentions. As a rule, body language communicates more about what someone says than what his own words do.
People in the corporate world use body language interpretation everyday when they interview prospective new employees. In bigger companies, they might even hire a body language expert to sit in on the interviews so they can study the interviewee’s mannerisms and actions. When they read body language, they are looking for a variety of movements that indicate if the person is uncomfortable answering certain questions or talking about certain subjects.
As the old saying goes, you can't judge a book by its cover...but people do it all the time! Sure, it's unfair, but first impressions can haunt you forever. Like it or not, your attitude, appearance and overall demeanor say a lot about you.
Noticing the signals that people send out with their body language is a very useful social skill. Some of us can read it naturally and some of us are notoriously oblivious. Fortunately, with a little extra attentiveness, you can learn to read body language, and with enough practice it'll become second nature.
Distance: · Standing too close, “in someone’s face”, will mark you pushy. If you stay too far will make you standoffish. Find the happy medium.
· Do what makes the other person feel comfortable. If the other person keeps backing away, stop!
· Don’t be afraid to take up some space – Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
· Lean, but not too much – If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.
Head:
- Don’t keep your eyes & head on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
- Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
- A person who tilts her head sharply is often expressing boredom at what you are saying. This sign can be emphasized negatively with folded arms. Unfortunately, this can also be misleading if the person happens to have a sore neck
- Sometimes someone will tilt her head slightly when she is very interested in hearing what is being said. Some believe this is a way to bring the ear closer to the action.
- Lowered heads indicate a reason to hide something. Take note if someone lowers their head. If it is when he is complimented, he may be shy, ashamed, timid, keeping distance from the other person, in disbelief, or thinking to himself or herself. If it is after an explanation, then he may be unsure if what he said was correct.
Eyes:
- If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening.
- Don’t stare! Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out.
- Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure.
- If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it.
- A person who looks away probably does not believe what another person is saying because she is focusing her attention on something else. Other movements that indicate disbelief include scratching the chin or playing with an ear. These body language signals are subtle clues that the person has abandoned believing anything you say and other things have grabbed her attention.
Hands:
- Show your hands! Hands should rest on the desk, empty of any utensils. If you’re standing up keep your hands out of your pocket.
- If one must take notes, pick up a writing implement and note the thought quietly, and set the pen or pencil down again. It is quite usual for one to pick up a pen and chew on it after taking a brief note, thereby creating the impression that one hasn't eaten in days and must resort to snacking on a Sharpie.
- Don’t touch your face – it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.
Mirroring:
· Mirroring is another common gesture. If someone mirrors, or mimics your appearance, this is a very genuine sign that they are interested in you and trying to establish rapport with you. Try changing your body position here and there. If you find that they change theirs similarly, they are mirroring.
Check their arms.
- People with crossed arms are closing themselves to social influence. Though some people just cross their arms as a habit, it may indicate that the person is (slightly) reserved, uncomfortable with their appearance, or just trying to hide something on their shirt. If their arms are crossed while their feet are shoulder width or wider apart, this is a position of toughness or authority.
- If someone rests their arms behind their neck or head, they are open to what is being discussed or just laid back in general.
- If their hands are on their hips, they might be waiting or impatient.
- If their hands are closed or clenched, they may be irritated, angry, or nervous.
Be aware of nervous gestures:
- If someone brushes their hair back with their fingers, this may be preening, a common gesture if the person likes you, or their thoughts about something conflict with yours. They might not voice this. If you see raised eyebrows during this time, you can be pretty sure that they disagree with you.
- If the person wears glasses, and is constantly pushing them up onto their nose again, with a slight frown, that may also indicate they disagree with what you are saying. Look to make sure they push up their glasses with an intent, not casually adjusting them. Look for pushing on the rim with two fingers, or an extra motion of wiggling the side of their glasses. The frown or raised eyebrows should tip you off.
- Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on. It's usually skeptical. This is presuming they are not trying to observe something that's far away.
Watch their feet:
- A fast tapping, shifting of weight, laughing, or movement of the foot will most often mean that the person is impatient, excited, nervous, scared, or intimidated.
- Note though that some people with ADHD will constantly jiggle their legs. It doesn't mean anything, it's entirely subconscious and, while eccentric, it can't be stopped.
- If the person is sitting, feet crossed at the ankles means they're generally at ease.
- If while standing, a person seems to always keep their feet very close together, it probably means they are trying to be "proper" in some way.
- If they purposely touch their feet to yours, they are flirting!
- Some people may point their feet to the direction of their interest. So if it's pointing at you, he/she may be interested in you.
Smile and laugh:
· Lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny.
· People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy.
· Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere
NOTE: Keep in mind that what is considered close in one country is far away in another.
Resources: BrazenCareerist Businessknowhow Wikipedia LifeScript Wikihow
